Kotoko (Hukii)

Review Details

Since this is one of my own commissions I'm coming from a biased point of view, but I don't think that's necessarily bad as the goal is to provide my point of view. However, I will try to be objective where I can in order to provide useful criticism where I see it.

I initiated this commission around a script I had written some time ago and had sent to a few artists. Hukii graciously took my request and proceeded to complete my story in a very professional manner. The story itself I can't really compliment, being the writer, but overall I'd say it's a little simplistic yet still captures the fictional romance between these two characters well enough. It seemed pretty straightforward making a script within the confines of the original story and for better or worse, I tried my hand at the task.

Hukii did a great job assessing my script shortly after I delivered it, and dove into my commission pretty quickly. As for the process, Hukii roughed out each page one at a time and gave me a sketch to check over before paying and continuing with the final art for that page. In the end, they were able to go through my script in a very reasonable amount time.

Note: I’ll be using he/his interchangeably with Hukii

General Impressions

I think the first page of this doujin [Page 1] does a good job showing a lot of what Hukii's style can offer. The lines are clean and the presentation is dynamic with characters popping out of panels and taking the majority of the page. There can be a small feeling of over-stimulation, though, with the two half-page characters being shown in different perspectives and living in close proximity on the page. This small sense of clutter does pop up from time to time in the story when panels are blended into each other without borders, but normally it isn't too distracting and pages are well presented.

There's a good attention to detail when it comes to characters' features and Hukii's ability to handle detailed clothing really surprised me when I first saw it [Ex. 01]. And it wasn't just clothing that surprised me, but also Hukii's attention to locations. While my script didn't call for much detail in the backgrounds, page 2 had an unexpected surprise when I saw the city art drawn in the top panels [Page 2, Ex. 02]. I had simply written in the script that the characters were "walking home," but Hukii really went beyond the script when imagining this transition scene between the first two pages and gave a fantastic cityscape.

I also appreciate the way Hukii handles light. In the story, the couple walks home at night to return to their apartment. Hukii does a good job rendering the difference between being outdoors in the dark and entering into a light filled room [Page 3]. In particular, I like how page 3 gives a good contrast in the top panels before then setting the scene for the rest of the story with the bottom panels, where we start to get into the character's interactions.

Characters

Looking at Kotoko's character design [Page 3, Ex. 03], I think there's a bit to talk about. Overall, the artist did a good job replicating Kotoko's likeness from the references to the final drawings, but I think there's a little more that could have been done. The face, hair, and dimensions of Kotoko could have been tweaked a little to be more accurate to the manga/anime version of the character, which was the style I was shooting for in the initial script. I could have been more strict in the sketch phase of this commission but I don't think it's fair to ask an artist to change their whole style in this situation. And in the end, it isn't a major problem since I do enjoy the artist's own style that comes through, but it is an area of potential growth.

The line art for the characters is clean and the and they are toned/shaded well. There is, however, a little inconsistency in the character's shape. Throughout the doujin Kotoko's bust will shrink or grow a little [Ex. 04, 05], and sometimes the foreshortening can be a little awkward. A few times in the story there's some small anatomical anomalies, for example Kotoko's upper body can seem a little too large compared to the rest of the body, or the proportions of the body seem a little off [Ex. 04]. These are small things that don't take much away from the work, but they can sometimes catch the eye.

When the characters move into foreplay, and eventually full copulation, Kotoko's charm is captured and the facial expressions generally do a good job reflecting the scenes and bringing the reader into the story. I think the artist excels in showing mischievous expressions but also does a good job with the more sexual ones where Kotoko is more involved or surprised duing sex. There are a few cases where the eyes could be a little more expressive to match the scene, but it isn't very important overall. In the end the expressions work well and I do want to mention that I rather appreciated Kotoko's expression on page 4 [Ex. 06].

The male lead [Ex. 07] isn't shown in the story quite as much as our female lead, as one may expect in a hentai doujin, but the character design is similar in style. His line art and shading are both good with his expressions doing a good job at selling the scenes. The artist did go beyond my script and added some reactionary panels with Kurou that I definitely appreciated. I'm not a great script writer, and these details really helped the overall quality. I'd say the characters are represented well and while there can be a little awkwardness, this doujin does a good job bringing these two together on the page.

Flow & Camera

I'll start with saying that things flow well in most places. My script mostly just mentioned the poses and when to transition to them, it was the artist who selected how to represent them. Hukii did a good job breaking down the panels over a page and choosing which camera angles would show off the poses best. Only in one case did the flow feel a little confusing and that was mainly down to the page being a little cluttered. This may be partly because Hukii's style does tend to use a few borderless panels with images blending into each other. This doesn't bother me, but I can understand if this does bother others as it does lend to the page feeling more cluttered.

There are plenty of nice full body (or mostly full body) drawings throughout the doujin [Ex. 08], which brings a decent balance against the couple close up angles scattered throughout. Page 6 can feel a little heavy with a streak of multiple medium/close zoomed panels which may be too much for some. I find that when a lot of close up angles are used, it can break the momentum of the story by focusing too much in one place. While it can be useful for guiding the reader at a specific pace, it can also feel unusual when used in excess. In this case, though, I think it works well and progresses the story at a decent pace with a little extra intimacy.

Once the action gets started, Hukii uses a number of dynamic angles between panels which brings a constant feeling of movement to the whole work. There are some low angles, three-quarter views, and a even a couple POV shots as well. It may feel a little overwhelming for some, but I think it works out well and it does provide a little something for everyone [Ex. 09 (next section), Ex. 10 (next section)].

Sexual Content

This story has a total of 12 pages of nudity/sexual content which starts up rather quickly with foreplay beginning on page 5. Fellatio is the only foreplay involved before the story continues into the main act with the two characters starting their sexual journey on page 8.

For me, one of the best ways to increase sexuality from a page isn't just the poses in display but how the camera shows those poses. As I already mentioned in the above section, the choice of camera angle is generally dynamic with different parts of the characters' bodies present in each frame. This will give a little bit of excitement for most readers, but also may not be enough of any one thing if someone is more specific in their tastes. In my opinion, the camera was well placed in most cases and it does help increase the provocativeness in some panels like on page 8 [Ex. 09].

The climax of the story is my favorite page with the pose being a missionary position with Kurou holding Kotoko's hips. While a simple POV, the camera captures the scene well with Kotoko's full-page body on display. And speaking of full-page renders, the full body shot on page 11 is another example what Hukii can bring to the table with a given pose. I appreciate the artist providing basically 2 full-page drawings in this piece with page 11 giving a full render but also a scattering of different perspectives around it. This page makes heavy use of the borderless panels, but it gives a lot of content on one page that's featuring a full page drawing.

Getting a little more specific, the rendering of our heroine's vagina is overly simplistic, but works well enough for the art style while the male character's penis is slightly more detailed. The breasts tend to grow and shrink as mentioned, but have a good rounded quality to them. The areolas are mostly depicted through shading which works fine, but sometimes they can blend into the shadows of her breasts.

Overall, I think the sexual content is well presented with a lot of dynamic angles for the poses, but there's still a little more that can be done with the characters themselves that can add some more energy to them. For while the angles and poses are well chosen, sometimes the characters can feel a little stiff.

Final Thoughts

Overall, this doujin does a good job representing the script and provides an artist's unique take on how it should play out. I think there's room for growth here, but the experience from start to end was fantastic. I believe that there's a lot more awesome doujin that Hukii will be able to draw as even through just this project I saw their skill grow from start to end.